25/02/08

I cannot lah. No matter how much I try to forget, it still come back haunting me. Past week has been absolutely horrible.

Its like a healing wound that gets cut up everytime it starts the healing process you know. You know the dried scab on a wound? Its like everytime somebody ask me about it, I dig away the scab and its an open wound again.

Honestly, I've tried very very hard to avoid talking about it for as long as I could. Why? Its so to give time for the would to perhaps heal a little bit more so that the next time around someone ask me about it, when I dig into the wound, the wound is not as deep and it wont hurt so much anymore.

I dont know why. One minute I'm absolutely convinced that I am over it, the next moment when the topic is bought up, I could feel the anger brewing inside me again.

I know Des feels absolutely horrible about this, but trust me babe, I'm really doing the very best that I can. I'm trying very hard to put this behind me. Somehow or rather, it still refuses to leave me. It must be something deeper than this...

This issue has disturb me so much until I couldnt properly sleep. Heck, I was so caught up in it that I suddenly only realized that today is the last day that I will be a legally single. It is so bad until I didnt even realized this and I guess the pressure spilled over to the registration issues.

I.Hate.This.

Can you believe that I cannot even enjoy the fact that I'm getting married soon.

I guess nobody really knows just how much the original date means to me. All I really want now is to just get away so that we could start a life on our own. Its bad enough that we have 101 things to worry about when we're there. Now, we couldnt even do anything to prepare for it. And then they have the cheek to say how come we didnt do anything.

See, now I'm back to being angry all over again. Sigh, why cant I just stop being difficult???