I’ve been busy.
And it’s a good thing cause it’s been a while since I am busy.
I like organizing and arranging events. The logistics and the urgency of things keep my mind busy although it mentally tires me. It is easy to see the satisfaction when a prog/event runs smoothly.
But when it was made complicated not due to factors, but by one person, it gets irritating. There is absolutely NO pleasing him. AT ALL. The fact that he changes his mind CONSTANTLY is not the problem. It is when he blames you for the change, THAT is a problem.
I’d like to think that he is purposely out there to make our life miserable, and it is his personal agenda to see us fail. His happiness is measured on our miserable-ness.
And I have to take it as a challenge to make it work.
And that is very tiring indeed.
On another note, there’s this nagging feeling that’s been with me for the past few days. Something or perhaps, many things are wrong, but somehow, I don’t know what it is or how to correct it.
Something just snapped weeks ago. There is so much anger inside me. Yet I have no means to get rid of it. I felt different somehow. Example, out of the sudden I can talk to an audience without fidgeting and rehearsing what I was about to say.
Perhaps it’s the fact that I was busy with the rest of the things happening that I don’t have time to be scared. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve taken so much bullshit from him that nothing else seems difficult anymore. Or it is the nearing of 2 yrs of working here and only one more year to go.
Things that happen past weeks? The big slap, the luncheons-that-nobody-really-wants-to-attend, the presentation, the trainings, the foreign trainers, the kosong-s, the patch, the trip and the candles.
And then, this morning already two things happened, the accidental findings on an unlikely alliance and the scandalous email that causes uproar in the hierarchy.
And it’s a good thing cause it’s been a while since I am busy.
I like organizing and arranging events. The logistics and the urgency of things keep my mind busy although it mentally tires me. It is easy to see the satisfaction when a prog/event runs smoothly.
But when it was made complicated not due to factors, but by one person, it gets irritating. There is absolutely NO pleasing him. AT ALL. The fact that he changes his mind CONSTANTLY is not the problem. It is when he blames you for the change, THAT is a problem.
I’d like to think that he is purposely out there to make our life miserable, and it is his personal agenda to see us fail. His happiness is measured on our miserable-ness.
And I have to take it as a challenge to make it work.
And that is very tiring indeed.
On another note, there’s this nagging feeling that’s been with me for the past few days. Something or perhaps, many things are wrong, but somehow, I don’t know what it is or how to correct it.
Something just snapped weeks ago. There is so much anger inside me. Yet I have no means to get rid of it. I felt different somehow. Example, out of the sudden I can talk to an audience without fidgeting and rehearsing what I was about to say.
Perhaps it’s the fact that I was busy with the rest of the things happening that I don’t have time to be scared. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve taken so much bullshit from him that nothing else seems difficult anymore. Or it is the nearing of 2 yrs of working here and only one more year to go.
Things that happen past weeks? The big slap, the luncheons-that-nobody-really-wants-to-attend, the presentation, the trainings, the foreign trainers, the kosong-s, the patch, the trip and the candles.
And then, this morning already two things happened, the accidental findings on an unlikely alliance and the scandalous email that causes uproar in the hierarchy.
Yeap. I am definitely learning.
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