17/11/2007

Feeling very blah at the moment.

Wanted to write about Ms Lo, wanted to talk about my love-hate relationship with books, wanted to vent my frustration about work, wanted to create a metaphor about life, but something held me back.

The Great Big Plan seems to make all these issues pale in comparison with it.

No doubt, as the date draws near, I'm FOREVER reminded about it. Its time to get things started. There's a long list of things to do to make it happen. And its finally time to start striking off items from the to-do-list.

Think I'll stop writing until it happened. No doubt, writing about it is a sure fire way of jinx-ing it. Hence, I've decided to stop talking about it (already there are people asking me about it!) and hopefully my abstinence from blogging will show GOD that I'm 101% committed to it and hopefully he'll grant me the wish.

While I'm on strike, keep reading my Quickies and Twitter, cause that's probably where I'll be updating from now.

Will be back in a month.

P/S: If it doesnt happen, there will be no more updates and this place will die its natural death. Why? Cause I mentioned earlier on that I'll be dead from committing suicide with the eggshells of non-existant chickens, remember???

17/11/2007

I'm exhausted.

I've just finished a marathon of books (Michael J Fox, Angelina Jolie, Trudy Baker and Charlie Daniels) in less than a week.

The curse of the books. I remembered why I stopped reading now.

13/11/2007

Okay, I've finally succumbed into pressure and put up a chat box at the side.

Damn malu-fying if the chat box is empty! So, we'll see how long I'll put up with the embarassment.

Go, please say something there so that it wont look so bloody pathetic.

Most probably I'll end up using it as a quick way for updates when I dont have time to type long entries or too malas to scroll around my phone to update Twitter instead. Trust me, its more dangerous for me to SMS than to drive while talking on my phone.

So, we'll see how this chat box this last...

The Gardens, Mid Valley City

Who would have thought a day would come when I am lost in Midvalley???

Well, in this case, its The Gardens, Mid Valley City.

It all started when Ultimate calls me up to ask whether I'm coming to my last touch-up appointment for my eyebrow today afternoon. I've earlier booked an appointment with them at 1pm, but when I woke up at 1230pm, I decided that I'm too lazy to go. But they persisted, and called up me again around 150pm to ask whether I'm showing up. I sighed, and said that I'll be there at 4pm.

So, I dragged my sorry ass out from the couch to shower, dressed and drove off to Midvalley. Now, everyone knows that if you were to drive to Midvalley on a Sunday afternoon, you'll have to be prepared to spend at least half an hour in Midvalley LOOKING for a carpark spot. So, usually I'd go very early in the morning, say before 11am to secure a spot or I just dont go.

And so, with a sigh, I drove into its carpark and round and round I drove. I usually park around the same area, but knowing that it would be difficult to find parking space, I decided to venture out from my usual "spot" and turn off to another parking area. As expected, after a half and hour drive, I managed to find a parking spot. I went out of the car and for the first time thinking, "???, where is the entrance???"

I walked for a bit and found a escalator. "This place is new, I thought" and was soon greeted by an unfamiliar sight of the shopping mall. Soon enough I realized it was the new wing of the very much anticipated shopping mall next to MidValley. I really was taken aback because then I realized, "I havent been to MidValley this long meh?" I was quite lost for a few moments, not knowing whether which direction to go. One look up the posh building and its warm lightings gave me the impression that it was a high-end shopping mall and its too posh for me, and decided to find my way back to MidValley.

So, yeap, that was my brush with The Gardens. Sorry, I'm just cheap and do not see the point of buying a RM200 t-shirt to wear to mamak even though the material is so good to last me years and years to come. I cannot afford it :( Nevermind, once the Great Big Plan is in place, I'll be able to afford all these luxuries, I hope!

I mean, Wander if that place would turn out to be a similar version of Sg Wang & Lot 10? One cheap, the other expensive (yea, I know Lot 10 now drop standard already, but remember its status when it first opened?).

Yes, Coach bags are nice, but you certainly don't go there every month to pick up a bag do you? And if I'm rich and famous and SPECIAL, do I want to be there knowing that the ordinary and normal "civilians" are there SHARING the same carpark with me? Oh wait, they would probably be using Valet service.

Just talking crap, I know :P

A glass of Kahlua?

"I’ve forgotten how much I enjoyed a glass of Kahlua...”

Few years ago, way back in Uni, when I fresh into my new semester in another place. New place, new weather, new found freedom, new friends, new everything. Culture shock? Right on the dot.

And I reached for the one thing that is all too familiar. Ironically, he is the one who introduced me to it.

Years before Uni, I drank myself drunk for the first time and ended up vomiting all over myself in his best friend’s house. Not a pretty sight, I tell you. And since then, whenever I visited the best friend’s house, the joke is to “roll up the carpet cause she’s here!”

As humiliating as it is, I swear to myself since that I will get myself that drunk ever again (of course, an easy way to ensure that is to make sure he is never to be far away from me for a long time, but that’s another story).

And so, I flew to my Uni armed with recipies of my favourite mixes.

Its so easy and affordable. JD was cheap, I had my partime job and Coke were on promotion every other week.

First it was the small bottles, then I upgraded into medium ones because it was kinda tiring to go back and forth to the shops regularly. Soon, my room was nicely decorated with empty bottles along the window. A very nice deco, I remember thinking. Bear in mind, I hardly ever go out to party that time. I miss his very much. I’ve forgotten how to go out and meet friends. But then again, those of you who know me, its not like I went out a lot before that anyway.

So, I was kinda happy doing my own thing and having a drink during late night studies with my cheap radiator on to combat the winter. It wasn’t exactly your normal “a cuppa hot milk” right before sleep. The only time when I enjoyed milk would be with Kahlua. During that time, I’ve probably had more milk that I ever had during my Uni days. Obviously, it wasn’t for the kalsium factor. And it doesn’t help either with the fact that Coke was practically on “sale” every week, the perfect mix item.

As mentioned before, I’m pretty much very loyal when it comes to branding. The type of drinks I had varied between a few types only, probably because I’m not too adventurous and I know what I like.

Very soon, I find myself fixing a drink more often than I would like to. I’ll have one when I’m back from Uni. I’ll have one during dinner. I’ll another one while watching tv. And I’ll have a few more later in the night.

And then, one night I had too many a drink. Its stupid, now that I think of it. There was no one around (I had a housemate) and I was just enjoying my drinks as usual while onlining (studying? You’ve got to be kidding me). One drink after another, I find myself pouring lesser of the mix and more of the good stuff. I knew I had too much, but it seems such a waste to pour it away. Hey, hard earned money ok? (Yea yea, I was also pretty much living off my parents that time too, but I still had a partime job).

And so, back to that night, I soon find myself lying down on my mattress breathing in and out slowly. Why? Because I had too much a drink and was on a verge to throw up. Obviously, the last thing I want to do is to throw up in the apartment. And so, I fell asleep, remembering that the last thoughts I had was something about asking God to “please just help me to keep this down, I don’t wanna throw up…”.

I woke up next morning to my alarm at 10am, for my first class at 11am. When I woke up, I felt the room spinning. I didn’t have a headache, nor did I feel the urge to vomit anymore. I just feel really pening-y and that’s the first time I truly understand what it felt like when they says “that the room is spinning”. I tried to stand up and could barely made it out of my room before I collapse on the floor again, trying to keep still. “Dumb, I got drunk while on my own...”. Ten minutes later, the room is still spinning, and I decided to skip class for the day.

Late afternoon, I felt much better. And that is when Des told me JD’s hangover is like that. No headache, but a horrible spin.

And that is when I swear that I’ll never drink again when he is not around. First, its because I don’t trust myself drinking WITHOUT him watching my back, and second, I didn’t trust myself just DRINKING (alone) without him watching my back.

I’ve never thought of myself as an alcoholic. In fact, I hardly went clubbing, and would very much preferred to get together in a friend’s place over bbq and drinks. And I had made myself promised not to get myself drunk while on my OWN anymore.

Many years fast forward, I find myself looking through a selection of alchohol on my trip back from Chiang Mai. My eyes rested on a large bottle of Kahlua, and messed up from work and family, I picked up the bottle.

Now, in my cold room with the heater on with a glass of Kahlua on the rocks, the settings are all too familiar.

My eyes settled on the bottle of Kahlua that is now three quarter empty…

Wishlist

Sometime back last year, I wrote about my dream wedding dress, the GUESS shoes to go with it, and a ridiculously expensive I-dont-need-this laptop.

Well, its almost a year later, and guess what? I STILL dont own any of the above three items. No suprises eh? I used up all my bonus then to cover my credit card bills and promised myself that I'll clear it every month. And I've honoured that promise until now!

About 2-3 weeks ago, Des and I made a quick trip down town to Petaling Street for dinner. And while walking around the stalls and shops, I chance upon my dream wedding dress!

No, no pictures because the dress was a dissapointment. Well, for one, they had it in PINK laces, and not GOLD like the one I wanted. Now, unlike many other ladies out there, I'm not very good with pink. Dont get me wrong, I do have a couple of pink t-shirts, but I wont go around making sure everything I own is in that colour. So, my utmost respect to those of you who does and I here admit my unlady-likeness for my un-preference for pink.

Anyway, I've decided to just try it out for the heck of it. Just to fullfill my dying wish :P And suprise, suprise, it was a letdown. For a start, the dress is two sizes too large. Its XL, and it doesnt have a proper corset sewn in. The two pathetic foam cup barely provide any support and the dress is too long. The only silver lining of that dress is that it cost about less than RM200.

To tell you the truth, for the minute second, I was thinking of buying-it-and-perhaps-alter-the-size-and-sew-in-a-corset-with-bust-support-and-get-it-dry-clean-and-pull-out-the-pink-lace-that-I-hate-and-sew-back-gold-laces-in-and-wear-four-inch-heels-to-make-up-for-the-dress-length-which-I-had-no-problem-with-cause-I-am-practically-born-in-high-heels-anyway.

Obviously it was too much a hasle.

But I STILL like the dress. Luckily the dress was too large. Otherwise, I really thought that I could have purchased it...

Now, the second item on that list was a gold GUESS pump shoes.

I've found out that the pump shoes' name is Carrie. They have a few colours, and I particularly like the gold ones (to match with the dress mah).

Along the year, I've ventured into Guess shop only a few times, and though I've never given a second glance with its clothes and bags, I always find myself wandering to the shoes section and absent mindedly lifting the pump shoes to remind my of the price to pay. A whopping RM400.

Now, I knew if I bought that pair of shoes, I'll wear it on a daily basis. No, I'm not like you who save expensive items for special occasions, and yes, I prance around the office in my black 4-inch heels everyday. I couldnt bring myself to spend so much for a pair of shoes, let alone a GOLD pair which is too fanciful for daily office wear.

And so, I settled for cheaper ones. A pair of black ones that I'm wearing now cost about RM80 (that's 1/5 of the original price!) from a nearby shopping mall, and I am very proud of it since. It has served me very well, and I must say that it is actually more comfortable compared to some of my lower heeled shoes. And I always feel extra confident when I wear those shoes. I also own another similar pair that is in silvery shade.

"What if you fall?" I get that ALL the time. I also get "Its bad for your back", "I dont know how she walks in those heels", etc. Well, if I fall and twist my ankle or break my leg, that would mean 14 days of MC and 2 months of hospitalization right? Its either feeling damn sexy or getting two months off work. Either way its good right?

Come to think of it, I think my love for super high heels dates way back to when I was a kid playing with Barbie dolls. I've always love how Barbie's feet arch to fit into her tiny stilettoes and I especially loved her black-heeled-pointy-pumps. Hahaha and that black-heeled-pointy-pumps is what I wore to work everyday!

So, no, I dont own the expensive gold GUESS pump, but I do own many pairs of cheap, high heeled (3 inch, no less!) and pretty pointy pumps!

The last item on the list was a VIAO laptop. Nope. I STILL havent replaced my laptop. In fact, I did a post mortem on it and asked my cousin to removed out the hardrive for me. So, instead of a laptop, I now own a external hardrive. Still looking for a laptop, but not very actively. Found a few similarly sized ones and much cheaper too, but havent found one that would enticed me to sign it off with a credit card.

But one thing for sure, if I AM getting one, you can be sure it would be sleek, small and light in weight!

So there, so much for an update on my Wishlist. What will I do with this year's bonus then? Well, again, looks like the Wishlist has to be shelved for another year, because bonus has been put aside to make the Great Big Plan come true (no, I'm not getting married, how many times must I say that to myself? sigh...).

Yes, that is how much hope I am putting into the Great Big Plan. If my chickens does not hatch, I'll slash my wrist with the eggshell and bleed to death. Deal?