Two weeks ago…
I wandered what is wrong…
I finally told you what I have been thinking all along. And though it has been two days ago, I still wakes up feeling things are different…
As I tossed and turned on my bed yesterday night, I couldn’t help thinking whether I’d just made things worst. I dunno why, but I just can’t shake it off.
I guessed the reason I never wanted to tell you about this is because I knew it will forced us both to remember and to act on it. And that is exactly what happened. Now that you knew and you remembered, did I just push everything to “start” happenning?
I had thought I could handle it on my own. And if I kept quiet about it long enough, it will go away.
But it keeps coming back.
“It is a harsh reminder of what happened everytime people talked about it…”
I am very brutal and frank when friends come to me when they are in middle of a crisis. I will force the truth into them and bare all for them to see and judge for themselves.
And two days ago I realized why. Cause deep down I’m not acknowleging the truth myself. Finding ways to let others see their truth is just something I do unconsiously. Its because of the build up in frustration and pressure that I had, causing me to unconciously channel it to another person. Because I won’t look at the truth myself, I had hoped to release the tension by ‘helping’ others see their truth, though sometimes in a brutal manner.
“I just want to get back what I lost years ago…”
I wandered what is wrong…
I finally told you what I have been thinking all along. And though it has been two days ago, I still wakes up feeling things are different…
As I tossed and turned on my bed yesterday night, I couldn’t help thinking whether I’d just made things worst. I dunno why, but I just can’t shake it off.
I guessed the reason I never wanted to tell you about this is because I knew it will forced us both to remember and to act on it. And that is exactly what happened. Now that you knew and you remembered, did I just push everything to “start” happenning?
I had thought I could handle it on my own. And if I kept quiet about it long enough, it will go away.
But it keeps coming back.
“It is a harsh reminder of what happened everytime people talked about it…”
I am very brutal and frank when friends come to me when they are in middle of a crisis. I will force the truth into them and bare all for them to see and judge for themselves.
And two days ago I realized why. Cause deep down I’m not acknowleging the truth myself. Finding ways to let others see their truth is just something I do unconsiously. Its because of the build up in frustration and pressure that I had, causing me to unconciously channel it to another person. Because I won’t look at the truth myself, I had hoped to release the tension by ‘helping’ others see their truth, though sometimes in a brutal manner.
“I just want to get back what I lost years ago…”
Yea, I guess I need assurance. And a date.
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