Selfish thoughts...

Many times I've reminded myself that life is like that. Hence, i place a lot of importance in self preservation. I do, i really do. Some of you may say i'm selfish, but i think I've been let down too many times to allow myself to be hurt. Pardon me, but my heart in not made of stone. I know what its like to put your heart out, but i'm too logical. I was very young when i made a promise to myself to never cry alone. I forgot what made my cry, but from then on, i made myself dry up tears and swallow back sobs whenever i'm hurt and alone. My tears are only made for an audience. I don't have to explain myself to you, even more, i don't have to explain anything to myself, for i know i'm my worst enemy. But then, isn't that what they say, to keep you enemy closer? Sometimes, i think i'm almost jenkyl and hyde. I've got so much anger in me i scare myself sometimes. But then again, i honestly think that its the anger that has kept me alive and ready to face the world for so long. I've always told myself, that overcoming small obstacles like these is only preparation for big things to come, whatever that is. Today i see a part of myself emerging again after trying to suppress for so long. I don't like it, but i know its the self preservation side that kicks it back alive. The things that we do to keep ourselves safe eh? You probably won't understand, and it'll even be more difficult for you to accept, but i hope you don't judge me. Just like i didn't judge you. Because if you have taken the time and trouble to look properly, you and i are not that different. No matter how much you deny it...